My (56F) daughter (29F) still lives at home. My daughter was nervous about living on her own and after college she asked if she can come back home until she is ready. With the prices of houses right now and how dangerous the world has become, me and my husband decided it was best if she stayed at home. She doesn’t know when she plans on moving out, but she isn’t in any rush and me and my husband don’t plan on rushing her either. She pays us rent once a month. Her only other bills are the stuff for her cat and what she chooses to do on her own time. My husband had the idea to save the money she was giving us as rent and give it all back to her when she’s about to move out as a surprise. My daughter does not know that we have been saving her rent money. Recently my son (31M) and his wife have been house hunting. They haven’t found anything in there budget that fits their needs. They are short on money and recently found out about what me and my husband have been doing with our daughter's rent money. Recently he and his wife sat me and my husband down while our daughter was at work and asked us to give them the money we have been putting aside for our daughter. I told them no because it wasn’t our money to give away and that it belonged to his sister. He argued that she wasn’t moving out anytime soon and he and his wife needed the money now. I offered to gift him some money but it wasn’t nearly as much as the amount of money my daughter's rent money has created over the last 7 years she has been living with us."AITA for not giving my son money from my daughter's savings?"
My son said that if we gave him the money that me and my husband could just slowly put the money back over the next couple of years. I told him that me and my husband doing that would put us in financial strain. We aren’t struggling by any means but the amount of money set aside for my daughter is too much to just “put back”.
He and his wife accused me of favoring my daughter. I told him that wasn’t true because he had the opportunity to live at home and save up for a house but chose to not live at home after college. I tried my best to explain to them that I couldn’t just give away money that didn’t belong to me. He and his wife angrily left after I refused to budge on the matter. AITA for not giving away my daughters money?
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
NTA. They sure are entitled. I can’t believe they declined money from you not related to the money your daughter has paid you in rent. That’s ridiculous.
Their financial situation is their responsibility and choice and you are not required to give them anything. Especially when it takes money from your daughter, who has been paying you each month.
NTA. That is one entitled couple.
Yes, they're looking for free money and poaching any boundary they can find to get more. Brother is willing to burn all relationships in his path, if he gets this money don't expect him to stop. Giving $ would reward this behavior. NTA.
NTA. Have to wonder how the son found out about the rent money if his sister doesn’t know what your plans are.
NTA- Your son and his wife are 1. Entitled and/or 2.Desperate. I have a sibling and I could not imagine asking my parents that in the same situation. There are two people that money could rightfully belong to- You/your husband OR your daughter, but never your son.
He sees something that would benefit him and is trying to manipulate the situation to get it. This is super sad as a parent, but you did the right thing. Horrible behavior.
So, do you think it is fair for the brother to ask for the money to provide for his family while his sister lives at home or is it an inappropriate request?
Sources: Reddit
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